The Sassy Snowflake and the French Butterfly

ozledigim

2012-01-27T00:24:00.002+02:00

her ne kadar muziginde is olmasa da sozlerine bayildim sarkinin. paylasmak lazim gelir.

ozledigim bir sen varsin
bir de o saf cocuklugum
bana kalsa buyumezdim
belki ondan buruklugum

yagmur duser kirpiklerime
aglardim sebepsizce
buhar olurdu soluklarim,
resim cizerdim pencereme

ellerimle dolardim
tutam tutam saclarini
soyleyecek laf bulamaz
tekrarlardim adini.

a single, tiny step

2012-01-24T11:33:00.003+02:00

birseyler yazayim diyorum kac zamandir elim gitmiyor. ne anlatsam, nerden baslasam bilemiyorum. kendimle mi konusuyorum, okuyanlara mi sesleniyorum, derdimi anlatmaya cabaliyorum kararsiz kaldim. yazi konusunda sikintim daim oldu aslinda ama bir gayret denicem yazmayi. cunku su an burada artik olmayan eski yazilara baktigimda gordugum detaylarin cogunu unuttugumu farkediyorum. yazmasam belki de 10 sene sonra 1 saniyeligine aklima gelecek seyleri postlari karistirirken gorup gulumsuyorum. geride biraktiklarima bakip "ah ah vah vah" yapmasam da "ben yaptigim hicbir seyden pisman degilim" geyigine iki elimle sikica yapissam da, "keske" diyorum icimden. ama icimden.

bakalim ne kadar icimi dokebilecegim buraya. gorecegiz.

Goodbye Virginia

2012-01-17T12:50:00.001+02:00

I feel certain that I am going mad again. I feel we can't go through another of those terrible times. And I shan't recover this time. I begin to hear voices, and I can't concentrate. So I am doing what seems the best thing to do. You have given me the greatest possible happiness. You have been in every way all that anyone could be. I don't think two people could have been happier 'til this terrible disease came. I can't fight any longer. I know that I am spoiling your life, that without me you could work. And you will I know. You see I can't even write this properly. I can't read. What I want to say is I owe all the happiness of my life to you. You have been entirely patient with me and incredibly good. I want to say that — everybody knows it. If anybody could have saved me it would have been you. Everything has gone from me but the certainty of your goodness. I can't go on spoiling your life any longer. I don't think two people could have been happier than we have been. V.

2012-01-17T01:43:00.001+02:00

Thunder Perfect Mind - a Prada Film starring Daria Werbowy from M G on Vimeo.

2012-01-16T11:07:00.000+02:00

2012-01-16T00:40:00.002+02:00

People sometimes ask me if I’m happy and I tell them to fuck off.
- Thom Yorke

2012-01-16T00:39:00.002+02:00

I will remember your small room
the feel of you
the light in the window
your records
your books
our morning coffee
our noons our nights
our bodies spilled together
sleeping
the tiny flowing currents
immediate and forever
your leg my leg
your arm my arm
your smile and the warmth
of you
who made me laugh
again.

Charles Bukowski